Hunter Biden's $LAPTOP accounting traces $2.87 million to two hired market makers
Hunter Biden's $LAPTOP accounting says two hired market makers took about $2.87 million while draining launch liquidity. His team's 300 million tokens never moved, so a lockup check would have passed a launch whose opening pool held under 30,000 tokens.
The Investor · Invest desk
What happened
- Biden published the accounting nearly a month after $LAPTOP fell more than 98% on launch day, and he says it was never a rug pull.
- Before launch, Biden's team committed to a lockup, published a MiCA disclosure and set aside 5% of the token supply for charity.
- Groom Lake found Market Maker 1 pulled its liquidity 84 seconds after the price peaked, and cash available to sellers near the live price fell from $16,157 to zero.
- Bubblemaps counted about 80% of launch-day buyers losing money, with more than 15,000 wallets ending underwater.
- One buyer tracked by Lookonchain spent about $200,000 near the peak and was left with about $3,000 a few hours later.
Why it matters
- Who has to decide decision Investors judging a launch now have a case where a 30% team stake stayed locked while a pool holding under $1,500 of tokens set the price, so pool depth and market-maker funding terms need checking alongside the lockup.
- What it costs cost Burning unclaimed airdrop tokens, the team's announced remedy, shrinks supply and pays nothing to underwater wallets; any cash back depends on the market maker answering Biden's call to "buy it all back and burn it."
- Who's exposed exposure By its own commissioned report, Biden's team relied on a firm that put about 1% of a $500,000 wallet into the pool, so the team stays answerable for the hire even if the firms kept the gains.
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A team lockup protects buyers from one seller. On $LAPTOP it held, by Biden's account: the founders' 300 million tokens, 30% of the one billion supply, are locked for six months, vest over two years and have not moved [21][22]. The pool buyers traded against was another matter. Groom Lake found it opened with fewer than 30,000 tokens, about 0.003% of supply [6]. At the 5-cent launch price that is under $1,500 worth of tokens, against a locked stake at least 10,000 times larger [2][15][16].
A pool that small moves on tiny orders. According to the report, a $6 buy could lift the quoted price 5% [6]. The token went from 5 cents to about $317 inside two minutes, a 6,340-fold rise [2][17]. A wallet tied to Market Maker 1 received $500,000 before launch and put about $5,200 of it into the opening pool, leaving roughly $494,800 undeployed [5][18]. Groom Lake puts that firm's liquidity positions about $686,000 ahead, some 132 times its pool deposit [8][19].
Market Maker 1 made its gain by supplying the pool and then pulling it [7][8]. Market Maker 2's came from trading the token [8]. Neither shows up in a lockup schedule, and the second was the bigger: the trading tied to Market Maker 2 netted about $2.18 million, roughly 76% of the $2.87 million total [8][11][20].
The blame could still move back toward the team. Biden's team commissioned Groom Lake, a Delaware consultancy that reviewed every trade in the first 36 hours [3]. As Cryptopolitan describes the report, it does not name either firm or say who sent Market Maker 1 its $500,000 [4][5]. If the team funded that wallet or set the pool size, the thin opening was a launch decision as much as a market maker's. Biden half-concedes it. "But in the end, it's my responsibility," he wrote, adding, "I take the failure personally." [9]
I think the distinction between lockup and pool holds either way. By the report's count, the gains ended with the two firms and the founders' tokens never left their wallets [21][8]. Groom Lake is a reviewer the team hired, so its figures need testing against the firms' own records [3]. Proceeds from either firm traced back to team-linked wallets would overturn the thesis.
What to watch
- Whether either firm is named, or publishes its own trade records contesting Groom Lake's $686,000 and $2.18 million figures.
- Who funded the Market Maker 1 wallet's $500,000 and who chose the opening pool size; team involvement in either moves the blame back toward the founders.
- Any onchain movement from the founders' 300 million tokens before the six-month lock ends.
Information, not investment advice. This story is general information about companies and markets, drawn from cited reporting. It is not a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any security; check the cited sources before acting.
Clarity's read
What the record supports and how the coverage leans. The claims behind it follow.
Reality
- Evidence55
- Adoption15
- Hype gap+30
- Incentives75
- Confidence50
Claim ledger
Ranked by verification strength, evidence, and original report placement.
- [1]
Hunter Biden released a forensic accounting of his $LAPTOP memecoin nearly a month after the token crashed by over 98% on launch day, and says it was never a rug pull.
- [2]
The token was built on Base and went live on Sept. 9 at 5 cents; within two minutes it rose to about $317 before collapsing.
- [3]
Biden's team commissioned Delaware-based intelligence consultancy Groom Lake to run the accounting; the firm reviewed every trade in the first 36 hours and its findings were posted on the memecoin's website.
- [4]
Two unnamed professional trading firms, labeled Market Maker 1 and Market Maker 2 in the report, benefited the most.
- [5]
One wallet tied to Market Maker 1 received $500,000 before launch but deployed only about $5,200, roughly 1% of it, into the opening pool.
- [6]
The market was so thin that a $6 buy could move the quoted price up 5%, and the pool opened with fewer than 30,000 tokens, about 0.003% of total supply.
- [7]
Market Maker 1 pulled its liquidity 84 seconds after the price peaked, and the cash available to sellers near the live price fell from $16,157 to zero.
- [8]
Market Maker 1's liquidity positions ended around $686,000 ahead, while trading linked to Market Maker 2 took in about $2.18 million more than it spent.
- [9]
"But in the end, it's my responsibility," ... "I take the failure personally."
- [10]
Biden called on the market maker to "buy it all back and burn it"; his team plans to keep burning unclaimed airdrop tokens.
- [11]
A forensic report says two market makers extracted about $2.87 million while draining launch liquidity.
- [12]
About 80% of traders who bought on launch day lost money, with more than 15,000 wallets ending up underwater.
- [13]
One buyer tracked by Lookonchain reportedly spent around $200,000 near the peak and a few hours later was left with about $3,000.
- [14]
Biden said his team committed to a lockup, published a MiCA disclosure, and set aside 5% of tokens for charity.
- [15]
Fewer than 30,000 tokens at the 5-cent launch price were worth under $1,500.
- [16]
The locked team stake is at least 10,000 times the opening pool's token count.
- [17]
The rise from 5 cents to about $317 was roughly 6,340-fold.
- [18]
About $494,800 of the $500,000 Market Maker 1's wallet received was not deployed into the opening pool.
- [19]
Market Maker 1's roughly $686,000 gain is about 132 times the $5,200 it put in the opening pool.
- [20]
The two firms' gains sum to about $2.87 million, of which Market Maker 2's $2.18 million is roughly 76%.
- [21]
Biden wrote on X that the founding team still held 300 million tokens out of the one-billion total supply, that none have moved, and that the holdings are locked for six months and vest over two years.
- [22]
The team's 300 million tokens are 30% of the one billion supply.
Sources
2 independent publishers whose own reporting we read for this story.
- cryptopolitan.comHunter Biden 'mocking Trump's coin' $LAPTOP defense lands flat as traders nurse 98% crash
1 article · October 7, 2026
- news.bitcoin.comHunter Biden Blasts Market Makers Over LAPTOP’s 99% Price Crash
1 article · October 8, 2026
Topics and entities
Topics
- On-Chain Forensics
- Crypto market making
- Memecoins
Entities
- Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation
- Lookonchain
- Bubblemaps
- Hunter Biden
- Base
- Official Trump (TRUMP)